Craigslist ad for a stolen bicycle

Tess, I need you back - 26

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Reply to: pers-173694527@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-06-20, 6:06PM PDT


Dear Tess,
The last time I saw you, you were on my porch. I thought you’d be there when I returned. Now, I feel like you’ve been stolen from me. I know I was gone a while, and I know I should have called to check up on you, and shouldn’t have taken you for granted, but when I was on my way home, the only thing I wanted was to lube you up and put you between my legs. I wanted to get on you and ride all night. I know we’ve had our bumpy, rocky times, and the occasional breakdowns, but I remember the smooth times too, the summers when we coasted through beautiful day after beautiful day. Do you remember when I’d tease you, I’d pretend that your name was actually Tesh, and that you were related to John Tesh. We would giggle as I sang the “The Endless Road” or “Give Me Forever” while we rode down State Street. People gave us funny looks, but you weren’t embarrassed, because I loved you. I miss you, and I want you back. I know that whomever you’re with now couldn’t take care of you like I could. They’re not going to lovingly wipe you down with a warm cloth, or take you in the shower on muddy days, or clean the grease from beneath you’re teeth. Oh Tess, we could have had some great times this summer.