You should be working

I know it's Saturday, but you should be working. Working is a panacea for all of your miserable ills. So you're sad. You're lonely and you're going to die alone. You have no friends and a drinking problem and you can't afford anything that could possibly make you happy. These are all problems you can solve by working. Forget the fact that it's a weekend and you're alone and all you want to do is lie under the covers and get drunk.

Then, you will at least benefit from the virtuous feeling of doing your meaningless job while everyone who is prettier than you is out having fun. You'll have a jump on the workweek for Monday. You will lord your accomplishments over all of the people who don't have to work because the depend on their people skills and their winning smiles.

I suggest you work tomorrow, too. If you're tired of working, go to church.