Inappropriate attire

I was feeling pretty great today. I’m single these days, my hair looked nice, and I felt like I had picked out a nice little outfit for myself. So, since it was a fairly pleasant day, I found myself strolling around town, not really rushing anywhere, just looking at people enjoying their days, enjoying the sunshine, you know, doing whatever content people are supposed to do.
Because of this confidence I was feeling, I found myself looking at more women than I usually do. It’s springtime, and that always brings out the radiance in people’s skin. Plus, you get to see more skirts ad exposed arms, and sunglasses can really fool you into thinking a girl might have a pretty face. So, I’m walking around, and I’ not hitting on girls or anything, just glancing and occasionally making eye contact and thinking about how hot they must think I am. I see this one pretty girl. I think I’ve seen her around, so I give her an extra smile, and she looks at me and smile back, and then looks down.
I read somewhere on the internet that when a women who you’ve made eye contact with looks down directly after, it’s a positive sign, because it signals submission, unlike when they look to the side, which basically means they are just trying to find something better to be staring at. I’ve never known whether to believe this, but when she looked back up and smiled I was feeling pretty good about myself. I looked down to figure out my next step. After smiling and eye contact, the next step involves speaking, which is much more of a commitment. I’m looking down, formulating a simple introduction, and I notice I’m wearing two different shoes. This is not like, too similar shoes. My right foot is looking smart in a nice brown dress shoe, while lefty is ready for a jog in its gleaming white sneaker.

Motherfucking unacceptable.