you should. . .buy some box wine for the office

First, let’s be clear. This is only for after hours consumption. When you are at the office on your own time, you can feel free to have a few glasses of cheap wine. Box wine is the best choice, because that box wine stays good forever, comes in handy 5 liter portions, and matches well with depression. So, after five, you may take out your box of wine and poor yourself a glass, but not before. Unless you’re feeling frustrated with work, or are already drunk, or hungover. Then feel free to drink, surreptiously. Make sure your lips don’t get stained.

But, after hours, that's when you can really focus on it. You are a hard worker. You are a go-getter. You are intoxicated with your virtue.