Tour de Freakish Monsters of Frankenstinian Disposition

Floyd Landis, the newest American to win the Tour de France, has been accused of using testosterone to enhance his performance. Lance Armstrong, the greatest American hero, repeatedly dealt with accusations of drug use, and Tyler Hamilton, some other American, wasn’t able to compete this year for similar reasons. Apparently, a whole bunch of people from other countries have been caught this year too, but who really cares about them? This whole thing leaves me wondering if:

1: Americans are all cheaters.
2: Bicyclists are all cheaters. It’s just the unlucky ones who get caught.
3. Jose Canseco and Barry Bonds should each get themselves a pair of training wheels and go after it next year in France.
4. Maybe we should give up on regulations and just let the all drug themselves to their hearts' content. Of course, at some point, you have to draw the line. Can you imagine what would happen if, years down the line, we have unregulated sports and genetic modification of bicyclists? Can you imagine how much faster a four-legged Lance Armstrong could go (with four pedals, of course)? That would be terrifying. Or, the coolest thing ever.