Attention Brings Gratification

Photographers wanted !

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Reply to: pers-179182354@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-07, 2:48PM EDT



So I was at this wedding two weekends ago in the Catskills, and there was this photographer there (who was, by the way, quite cute). Anyway, the photographer had set up this photo booth at the reception. The photo booth was one where you sit inside and it takes a series of pictures of you, like the ones at the mall or, if you’re into faux-sublime French films, the ones that feature so prominently in Amelie. Anyway, since the photographer was so cute, I took a look at her web site, in the hopes that there she was really into taking self-portraits and displaying them online. I had no luck on that front, but while I was looking some pictures she had of an ongoing documentary-type project on teenagers, I had an idea for a great photography endeavor. A documentary-type project focusing on me.

I can be much more interesting than teenagers. I have a vast range of expressions beyond the teenage limit of sulky, lustful, or drunk. I have less acne, so you won’t have to airbrush me or only take pictures from one side. And, I’m willing to pay.

Basically, I’m looking for a photographer to follow me around all day and take pictures of me. I’m not so attractive, and I do spend a lot of time just sitting at my computer, staring at the wall, but I am adorable when I’m sleeping, and that happens for twelve to thirteen hours a day, so there’s ample opportunity to photograph me. Also, you could take lots of great action shots of me, like me brushing my teeth, me walking around ogling women, me when I’m actually working (for this one, I picture a slow shutter speed; you’ll be able to see the stillness of my eyes, and my hands will blur across the keyboard as sweat glistens on my acne-free face).

For this project, I’ll pay you minimum wage. Plus, you can sleep in my closet. It’s not a walk-in, but you’ve got to make do with what you’ve got, right? The closet can double as a darkroom if you’re not into that digital stuff. You also get full access to the sublime experience that is my life. You can follow me everywhere, except to the toilet (I don’t like an audience). And, you get all the rights to the photos. You can do whatever you want with them. I’m not in this for fame or money, just the delicious gratification of knowing that someone’s noticing me long enough to take my picture.