And one. . .

Another Also-ran from Radar: Michael Jesus Archangel

Pros: 1. In addition to campaigning, Mr. Archangel runs a private investigative agency, a cosmic bank, and a modeling agency. He may be a multitasker of Clinton’s caliber.

2. Has Jesus in his name. People love Jesus, right?

3. Has already prophesied his own victory. We might as well get on the winning team now.
Cons: 1. Has a problem with the “homosexual Satan.” This creates worry that he may be getting a lot of his policy knowledge from South Park.

2. Wears too much jewelry for a dude.

3. Attempted murder charges have been brought against him in the past. Such a firebrand might react negatively to world leaders such as Hugo Chavez.