Could be a contender. . .

Radar has this series called Meet the Also-Rans Which features presidential candidates such as Jonathon the Impaler and "White People's Candidate" John Taylor Bowles. Pros and cons of each candidate below:

Jonathon the Impaler
PRO: 1. Will command a regiment of vampires. This can only increase national security.
2. Wants to personally impale both Mike Tyson and O.J. Simpson. While perhaps more useful if done in the early 1990s, I don't think there are many people who wouldn't get behind this policy.
3. Is an impaler. Badass.

CON: 1. Is an ordained satanic priest, and thus creates separation of church/state issues.
2. May only be an effective leader at night.
3. Is Jonathon the impaler. Not quite so badass. I recommend a name change to Vlad, or even Tryone.

John Taylor Bowles
PRO: 1. Plan to lower taxes by cutting off aid to Israel. Everyone loves a tax cut.
2. Plans to end the unpopular Iraq war for the purpose of putting all troops on our southern border.
3. Is white, and thus electable.

CON: 1. Bad fashion, especially the swastikas.
2. Will probably not get the approval of the Hebrew Cabal that actually controls our country.
3. With a small grammatical change, is just a white people candidate, and thus not much different from most of the rest of the pack.