Office mindgames, part III

This one’s a little juvenile, but if you have any coworkers who have paranoid tendencies I recommend it.

Miranda is paranoid. When she’s interested in a boy, she won’t webstalk him, for fear that he’ll somehow be alerted to her looking at his myspace page. When she sees coworkers in her neighborhood, she tries to avoid being seen because she doesn’t want them to know where she lives. Once, she accused me of hanging out in the Ford Dealership near her apartment, spying (and I let her think that for a little while). Once after a discussion on who Angela Lansbury was, I sent her a text message that just said, “Murder, She Wrote!” She became convinced that she was now on a terrorist watch list, and would never get a job with the government.

Today I sneak onto Miranda’s computer when she’s out at lunch. I use her email account to send her an email to herself, from herself. I did not look at any messages, as this would have gone beyond my bounds of propriety. I just hit “compose” and wrote,

“Dear Miranda,
Hi! I just wanted to tell you that I think we look really nice today. It’s too bad the Bachelor (from the current Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman) can’t see us today! Plus, we feel so cozy in our pink sweater, don’t we?
See you later,
Miranda”

I look over at her desk at some point, and she looks like she’s about to lose her shit. I say,
“What’s up?”
She’s wide eyed, looks a little nervous. And says, “Did you send me an email?”
Me: No, why did you get an email from me?
Miranda: No. But just tell me, did you do this.?

She gets a Tums out of her desk, and I’m really worried she’s going to freak out. She thinks some stalker has hacked into her email. I eventually have to tell her, and I get hit and verbally abused all day as a result. Paranoiacs don’t take jokes well.