Travel Guide: Tennessee

I felt bad for having fun at the expense of the South the other day. It was like that line about t-shirts as formal wear was beneath me. Perhaps not beneath Jeff Foxworthy, but beneath me. Then, I was driving across Tennessee, and I saw a billboard for a lawyer. It was one of those, “Need help? Call Jeff Sims!” type of deals. I did a double take, you know, because Jeff Sims was wearing a black t-shirt in his lawyering add. So, my little formal wear joke: Not funny. Not clever. But true.

Then I forgot about being nice as my obvious superiority to everyone around me became evident to myself. I drove a portion of the ride with my sister. As I came out of a rest area in Oklahoma, it was like,
Marcel Parcells: You know, we’re the most attractive people in this state.
Marcy Parcells: (laughs) It’s true. Actually, its been true since we entered Virginia. What made you say that right now?
Marcel Parcells: Oh, there was this old lady in the rest area. She only had one arm, and her nub was nasty.
Marcy Parcells: . . .

Ten minutes pass.

Marcy Parcells is watching a couple in an adjoining car. I can’t see what they’re doing, but she turns to me, “We’re also the coolest people in the state.”
Marcel Parcells: Yup.