Guns! Iowa!

Hey! Have you heard about the Presidential Primaries? They're like the Olympics of politics, because they're every four years. But, unlike the Olympics, where every country can participate, the Presidential Primaries only happen in two states (maybe four- who the fuck knows anymore?).

According to this article, Obama and his lady say that guns are more important for Iowans, not because of hunting, but because of crime! Yes. The mean streets of rural Iowa are aflame with cow rapists and corn poachers and butter burglars and other violent offenders and maybe arabs!

So, first, let's just do away with all of those arguments on whether or not guns accomplish anything for home defense or deterrence. This guy makes the point that there are places like Philadelphia where you might have to worry a little bit more about crime, but Obama and Lady Obama are more concerned about Iowa. Because they are more worried about crime in the rural midwest. Because they hate black people.

Or, because this is pandering, which is what Presidential candidates do to those lucky-every-four-years people in Iowa. It's like they're the prom committee and Obama wants to be Queen. He'll give them any reason to like his support of Iowan gun-havers.

Really, the only non-hunting excuse Iowans should have for gun-having is that if you live in Iowa, suicide should be an option.