Bobbing for Brahmins

I'm going to an Indian wedding this weekend. My co-worker, Miranda, is an Indian, and kindly gave me some Indian-style pick-up lines to use. See them below, with my modifications.

Yes, I am from Boston. Have you heard of the Boston Brahmins? My family’s like that. We’re a little like the Kennedys, without the alcoholism.

Every night I pray to Vishnu that Kashmir will one day belong to India again.

So, does that brown skin go all the way up?

This paneer is really good, but I prefer using whole milk when I make my own. So, do you want to fuck?

Ramalamadingdong. . .is that Indian for something?

Did I not introduce myself? I’m Dr. Parcells.