things I have learned from Judd Apatow

I like Judd Apatow's work. I have learned from him.
Here is what I have learned from The 40 Year Old Virgin:
1. It's never too late to have sex with Catherine Keener.
2. As pathetic as I become, I may still get to have sex with Catherine Keener.
3. Electronics salesmen get way more ass than I do.
4. Sex is a beautiful thing when done with the person you love. Otherwise, it is scary.
5. I cry at tender moments.
6. Romany Malco, Seth Rogan, and Paul Rudd all have hairy chests. And are wonderful dancers.

Here is what I have learned from Knocked Up:
1. Even if become a fat unemployed drunkard, I may still get to have sex with Katherine Heigl.
2. Munich is a cool movie because of its badass Jews.
3. Unemployed stoners get way more ass than I do.
4. Unprotected drunken sex is a beautiful thing when it leads to babies, love.
5. I still cry at tender moments.
6. Drugs are cool for single guys, and for committed guys only when it leads to self-revelation.