Stop using this word: Snark

I hate the word, Snark. Firstly, it is unappetizing. It sounds like snarf or snork or snort. None of these have positive connotations for me. For those who don’t know, Snorks were underwater Smurf knockoffs that lived in the ocean and breathed out of snorkel-like tubes attached to the tops of their heads and looked suspiciously like smurf hats. I do not want to be reminded of them when I am reading on the Internets about something that falls between insightfully cynical and patently abusive in tone (read:snarky). This leads me to the second part. There are many words that are far superior, far more specific, and far more sonorous than snark, like “twatwafflery”, “douchebaggery”, “sarcastic humor”, “asshattery” and “biliousness.” Fuck you, snark.