bad joke day

someone else:
I just can’t stand dating. I mean, so many times I finish one and I’m like, “You just wasted two hours of my life!”
Marcel Parcells: That’s what they always tell me at the end.
(APPLAUSE)

later, in the same conversation:
someone: I like to feel like I’m not wasting time. So, I make sure to do something I enjoy on a first date, like hiking. That way, at least you have a little fun.
Marcel Parcells: Yeah. I’ve tried that. But, the looking-at-porn date never seems to work out.
(APPLAUSE, STANDING OVATIONS, SOMEONE PRESENTS ME A MEDAL)