you should. . .buy yourself a smoothie

A few years back I had a job that I did not like. I didn't like the people. I didn't like the work. I didn't think it had any kind of positive societal outcome that would make me able to assuage my ennui with a feeling of accomplishment (though everyone else there seemed to think so). Even the bagel shop next door was worthless; it was more like they were serving dense, bland, raisin-ridden crackers. However, there was a smoothie shop next to the bagel shop. Every day, at around 11:30, I would saunter out of the office (I love the feeling of leaving your workplace to go outside, even if it's just for snack time), cross the road, bypass the bagel shop, and order myself a delicious pina colada-style smoothie. I would buy the largest size, and the 1300 calories of sugar would keep me entertained for the rest of the day. I felt like a fucking hummingbird.

It's been ungodly hot lately, and, while I've mostly switched to solid lunches, I had accomplished a good deal of work, exercise, flirting, and dehydration, all before 1 P.M. on a weekend. I decided to celebrate with a pineapple smoothie. Instead of an escapist snack, it would be lunchtime revelry.

They didn't have pineapple. I got pomegranate instead. Not worth it. I might as well have made myself a glass of Tang, or bought a YooHoo.