you should go get an energy drink

I know you've already had your coffee, but you like how it makes you feel like you're vibrating. You don't like the way it makes you feel like your teeth are rotting while you drink it, but so it goes. After you're done, eat some sushi, and invite 50 people to watch you shower, so that you can teach them about water conservation (bottom half one day, top the next!). Make sure one of them is willing to hold your loufa.

Animal welfare

I've always wondered how they test whether a shelter animal is good with other animals and children. Do they just through a cat (or baby) into the pen and see if the dog tears it apart. Because that's how I'd do it. A five year old would have had to die to get Shep out on the market.

Longmont Humane Society