Never forget!

airport

I am in an airport right now, which is the place where I feel most superior to the rest of humanity. I especially feel this way during holiday travel, when all of the people who don't really understand how to use an airport come out of the woodwork. I feel so superior, that I'd like to wear a t-shirt that just says "AWESOME" across the chest. Or, if I could borrow from a friend of mine, I'd have a t-shirt that says "ME" in giant letters on the front, with "you" in tiny letters right next to hit.

Some lady just walked by me, and she seemed extremely agitated that I could be using the plug I am using. I gave her a look that said, "You can keep walking your lazy ass down to the next outlet." I hope she understood my eyes.

i am fashion

Hey, wait until you see my Spring line! I am ready for my genius now, and with it I will make fashion history. What I want is a suit, you know, tie, blazer, slacks, white shit. Except, all of it will be belly-shirted. Not West Virginia belly-shirted with raggedy cotton pieces dangling from my navel. No, my belly suit will be tailored to end right below the ribs. Shirt, vest, jacket will all be perfectly tailored to expose my hirsute belly. The pants will be full length - this is dinner attire we're talking about.

I call it "Desert Formal." And when I say I want this suit, i mean I already have it.

Jealous?

sadness

Sometimes when I'm sad, i like to shake my fist at the sky. I pretend I'm a cop, and my partner has just been shot on his last day before retirement, getting married,having a baby, and inheriting a million dollars. A Columbian drug lord is responsible for my partner's death, and as I shake my fist at the sky, I yell his name, which is the same name as the thing that is making me sad.

christmas list

This is the first I've ever wanted a doll for christmas. Usually, I'm too homophobic for that sort of thing (as much as I would have loved a My Buddy doll when I was a boy, people were already asking enough questions).

Ghostface is different

He says things, like "Remember when I longed dicked you and broke your ovary." And "Ghostface. Ghostface"

And he's 40% off. Now only $300. That's real gold, bitches.

camels

I read some history today, which was new for me.

It was about the First Ride of the British Camel Regiment

First, Camel Regiment! I might even join the army if I could be in a camel regiment. That's some Lawrence of Arabia shit.

Second,

The decision to send Gordon cost the British Government dearly. A hero from his days fighting in the Taiping rebellion, "Chinese" Gordon, was a popular figure and a there was a huge outcry came from the British public to send an expedition to his aid. Soon, the British government gave in and tasked General Lord Wolseley to mount the expedition it had tried so hard to avoid.

Ok, I wish it were still acceptable to have nicknames like "Chinese".
I'd go for "Pakistani" Parcells. Because of my ideas for America East. Or "Irish Parcells" because of my love for potato products.