Happy Noneday

Jobs I wish i had:

spy
oil baron
senator
"top gun" flight school instructor
paid blogger
real journalist
fishing license distributor
big cat hunter
ambassador to Palau
space commando

things I did to get any of these jobs today. . .
watched movies
daydreamed
slept
took a bath

I've missed you, and Republican babies

Ohh, my little blog. I've missed you so much. When I was in the cold dark internetless woods of Montana, I though about how much I preferred your electronic glow to the campfire's, how much I'd rather listen to your soft hum than the rustle of trees and the blurbling of trees and shit. Also, one of my friends almost got eaten by a moose, which was no fun.

Anyway, according to this guy Republicans are having more babies than Democrats, and thus will rule the country within a generation (if we're assuming they don't already). When you think about the how much the Mormon's love to breed (they're the sexiest fundamentalists around!), it kind of makes sense. However, this person claims that the guy is full of it, and she goes after his data. Her best point, I think, is that he's not counting the waves of breeding Hispanic immigrants entering our country. So, I'm thinking the Republicans aren't really against immigration (who doesn't love cheap labor?), but instead are just trying to keep the voter balance in their favor with that whole border guarding thingy. But don't listen to me, I've been in the woods for a while.

Cold Ones

Apparently, Inuits in Greenland have begun bottling beer made from melted glaciers. Awesome. Of course, I'm guessing they have to import the hops and all that stuff. now, if they can start making ice cap Vodka and ice cap bottled water, I'm on board.

fetuses like eclipses

The Evangelical Right tells me all about how the Center for Bio-Ethical Reform, a pro-life group is planning on flying giant gory pictures of aborted fetuses to persuade some Ohians (?. . . Ohioans?, Ohis?, Hios?) that abortion is gross. This is going to ruin lunch for the many, many people, who already deal with the hardship of having to eat it in Ohio. Just like during a solar eclipse, the poor Hios will have to keep their eyes down to avoid blindness, or at least nausea. Beyond the fact that the pictures are likely to be of late-term fetuses, since I don't think anyone's going to mourn a beat-up blastocyst, there's the likelihood that grossout politics is not the best tactic, since they are likely to alienate anyone who is already predisposed to distrust anti-abortion group, and especially the kind that's bragging about how nasty their pictures are.

"He said the banner would be the most graphic picture ever displayed from the air.

'It will be categorically the most shocking we have ever done,' he said. 'The imagery is so horrifying that I can't almost stand to look at it.' says Center leader Gregg Cunningham."
(from the Plain Dealer)

Hooray.

Furthermore, I would hope that the less rabid pro-life advocates would recoil a little bit at this stunt, just as I would if an anti-war advocate was walking around with an Iraqi civilan's head on a stick to make his point.

So let's hope this doesn't pan out, that the good Hios of Ohio don't turn out into the streets in a fetus-saving furor after these events, or we can count on a continued abortion airwar, and maybe others with planes dragging banners from

anti stem cell people, with giant pictures of sad-looking stem cells (the sad faces will have to be drawn on),

the "Death Tax" crowd, with a bunch of bereaved millionaired on the banner,

Joe Leiberman towing around a giant George Bush/thumbs up kind of deal,

George Bush dragging the Mission Accomplished banner out for another go,

the Tour de France, blood doping haters (I'm tired of them!) dragging around giant pictures of, I don't know, bicycling six-legged freaks,

and anti-Flag burners flying around with the Flag, burning.