Friends wisely

Apparently, Barack Obama has more MySpace friends than anybody else in politics right now.
Two things.

1. The Barack Obama MySpace page claims that it belongs to the Jon Stewart for President Group. This seems to be counterproductive to Obama's own presidential goals.

2. Would you really want this guy as your friend if you were trying to get elected? I mean, even with two guitars, he's still a douche. He may even be German, and thus a non-voter.

When Fatman needs a sidekick . . .

Because of my disdain for Chicago, I sent Gilberte, a former resident, this link from Worker #3116.

Gilberte replied:
ah, the sad result of cultural pomposity...
as she/he/you quickly loses any chance of knowing the sweet embrace of
midwestern kindness.

me:
it's not cultural pomposity, it's physical obesity,

and as far as I can tell, the sweet embrace of midwestern kindness involves force feeding me casseroles, chicken pot pie, potato salad, and caramel corn until I either vomit out a "Go Bears!" (or "Go Colts" for that matter) or until I am redolent of trans fats, my glistening skin tastes like a basted turkey, and the sweet sound of my open-mouthed chewing fills the air.

Also, lakes are for pussies.

You should be working

I know it's Saturday, but you should be working. Working is a panacea for all of your miserable ills. So you're sad. You're lonely and you're going to die alone. You have no friends and a drinking problem and you can't afford anything that could possibly make you happy. These are all problems you can solve by working. Forget the fact that it's a weekend and you're alone and all you want to do is lie under the covers and get drunk.

Then, you will at least benefit from the virtuous feeling of doing your meaningless job while everyone who is prettier than you is out having fun. You'll have a jump on the workweek for Monday. You will lord your accomplishments over all of the people who don't have to work because the depend on their people skills and their winning smiles.

I suggest you work tomorrow, too. If you're tired of working, go to church.

Skating, Ketel One, Costner

This week I went ice skating. I went to the rink, at 11 A.M., I skated alone in there for 45 minutes or so. When I was a kid, I hated skating, because all of my friends played hockey, and thus were much better than I was. When I am alone and there is no one to compare me to, I feel like Apollo Ono.

A drink recommendation: Ketel One and Cran-Grape. Deliciously fruit-tarty.

People should have realized Kevin Costner was no good around the time of Bull Durham. While there are some good lines in the movie, they are only good when you ignore his wooden delivery.

Where have I been?

China: a miserable trip to a wonderful place

House-sitting: for philanthropists with big wallets and nasty dogs

San Francisco: where the highlight of the trip was seeing the houses from the opening credits of Full House

Ennui City

broken up with: but I've moved past that now

in bed: my happy-place

skiing: not often enough

drunk: too often

in coffee shops: what else is there to do on a cold Sunday night?

apparently, too busy to play on the intenet I've neglected you, my little blah blah blah blog.