Skymall shopping: the tracking key

When I'm flying, after my computer dies and before I've resorted to iPod listening and bleary eyed staring, I like to shop the complimentary Skymall magazine. I picked my favorite product:

Hi, it's the tracking key, a pocket sized, GPS powered spying device that records its every movement and asks the important questions:

Is my teenager speeding?
Where is my spouse going?
Where are my employees going?

And then maybe

Is my divorce lawyer fooling around during billable hours?
What do my kids do with my ex-wife?
Does their new dad take them to cooler places than I do?
Where is the best place to ambush them and kidnap my kids back?

Because if your family doesn't already hate you for your micromanaging big brother bullshit, I'm sure they will now. This stuff is only cool on the Wire.

Also, if you like the tracking key, the Skymall magazine suggests you buy some baroque style leaf prints. To assuage your crushing loneliness.

Larry Craig, Larry Craig's wife

Susie Bright has an interesting essay on the Suzanne Craig, wife of Larry, and the plight of the closeted man's wife. She briefly touches on the question of why people like Suzanne stick by people like Larry in the inevitable press conferences. One thing she mentions is the draw of "money and prestige" in keeping Mrs. Craig up there next to her husband. I think the other side of that coin, the willingness to deny anything because of the minuscule chance that it will avert disgrace, is just as strong. If I were, Suzanne Craig, and I were allowed to exit this whole thing quietly, I would do it in a second. However, that path is not open. It's either deny and hope for miracle, or accept the disgrace by standing up at that press conference, taking one step away from Larry and saying, "Yep. He's totes gay. Known for years. Whatareyougonndo? That wide stance bit sure was funny, though, eh?"